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A month or two ago, I had the pleasure of beating a modded SRT-4 from both a stop and a roll one night. He had a blaring lawnmower exhaust note from twin fart cans, and well as deafening BOV. I beat him by at least a couple of lengths up until about 60 MPH, and then I slowed down. He got up and next to me and wanted to go from a roll. Same result. It was satisfying as I've always hated those cars and never came across one when I had my TT.

Tonight, on a perfect 74 degree night, I was out buzzing around. Well, whataya know, here comes an SRT-4! This one looked to be 100% stock, but the little fartknocker behind the wheel was driving aggressively (shocking, huh?). I let him pass me and tailed him a little. Finally, I was rewarded by the Ricer-hating Gods - I lined up next to him at the light.

He looked over at me. He had a look on his face of a man driving an Enzo. I looked at him pretty much exactly like this, daring him to give it his best shot:



I wasn't convinced he wanted to race, so I left the light normally. So did he - for about 10 feet. Then he punched it. His motor screamed 4-cylinder hell. He was up about two car lengths when I punched it myself. I couldn't believe how fast I reeled him in. I passed him with ease, grinning with hate. After hitting about 60, I slowed down with at least three or four lengths on him. Any guesses what he did?

Ricer flyby.

Oh well, should I have expected anything less? That POS car inspires dumbassness. I turned off and headed home.

When do I move in?

[quote=""lawdogg""]... did you really take a staged pick of yourself giving that look JUST for this story?[/quote]
I can neither confirm nor deny that.

[quote=""oxrageous""]I can neither confirm nor deny that. [/quote]

Hmmmmm....

Awesome kill?

i hate SRT-4's and their owners with a passion



theres this fat white guy in his 40's who tools around in his SRT4 with straight pipes and a loud BOV. he has a decal on his car that says "stage 2" but i call bullshit. he always jumps on my ass and flys around me like he accomplished something. wow, you're pretty cool if you can fly around a highschool kid in a import car. anyways, one day comes when I installed my alchy injection. he did the little ricer on my ass move... and flew around me.. well when he got to about 1 car in front of me i punched it and reeled him in quick and passed him at around the top of 2nd gear. 12psi and 13t's with alchy injections. i let off as we were on a pretty main road... guess what... RICER FLYBY.... what a fucking douche bag. hes twice my age and twice my weight... PWNT.

i saw him a few days ago and he was behind me but he didnt get on my ass this time

[quote=""slagehammer""]i hate SRT-4's and their owners with a passion



theres this fat white guy in his 40's who tools around in his SRT4 with straight pipes and a loud BOV. he has a decal on his car that says "stage 2" but i call bullshit. he always jumps on my ass and flys around me like he accomplished something. wow, you're pretty cool if you can fly around a highschool kid in a import car. anyways, one day comes when I installed my alchy injection. he did the little ricer on my ass move... and flew around me.. well when he got to about 1 car in front of me i punched it and reeled him in quick and passed him at around the top of 2nd gear. 12psi and 13t's with alchy injections. i let off as we were on a pretty main road... guess what... RICER FLYBY.... what a fucking douche bag. hes twice my age and twice my weight... PWNT.

i saw him a few days ago and he was behind me but he didnt get on my ass this time [/quote]

He was too embarrassed you would make him put his foot in his mouth again.

My friend Scott and his Dad own an SRT-4 that they use as a drag car father son project.

But Scott is, unfortunately, the classic SRT-4 owner. He is a great guy otherwise, but man, does he think his car is a gift from the Gods. I love my car, but I know it has many faults, Scott would have you think his car can drive on water.

-John

In the N/A I try not to get too cocky about who I meet and greet on the road. One day I was running down to I-40 from Maryville of all places and eventually had a Neon run up on me. He passed me quickly at first, and I thought nothing of it, but he only passed me enough to show me a license plate that read "V8THIS", then slowed back down and motioned me for a run.

I'm not sure if his car was sick (or imitation) or if my old motor really made that much of a difference, but from 55-90 I put a car on him. I pushed the brake just enough to set the back lights off yet still got the ricer flyby.

I hate Neon owners in general, but the audacity of some owners amazes me. They're not worth the time nor the gas.

[quote=""J-Groove""]My friend Scott and his Dad own an SRT-4 that they use as a drag car father son project.

But Scott is, unfortunately, the classic SRT-4 owner. He is a great guy otherwise, but man, does he think his car is a gift from the Gods. I love my car, but I know it has many faults, Scott would have you think his car can drive on water.

-John[/quote]

Some honda owners that I talk to in Laredo are the same way.

"Yah but your car weighs like 3600 lbs, it can't out handle my car on a road course!" "VR4's are nice but AWD isn't *that* good, 200 fwhp+ 2600lbs will smoke any VR4!" "blahblahblah..."

I just agree with them and keep my mouth shut. In the end they still run 17s

My roommate used to hang out with a guy who drove a CRX. He talked about it like it was the coolest car ever, telling me constantly that "All the chicks wanna be with a guy in a sweet ride like mine" - always with a straight face. He would singlehandedly dashed any hope I had for the human race by giving me comments like that every time I encountered him.

Same ricer story, he bought a rusty old blown CRX, ordered some VTEC motor from Japan and thinks he's lord of the streets. (One Honda to rule them all...) He was so proud of it he showed me where he hooked up the wire where he has to manually switch on his VTEC, then turned around and asked me if I "wanted to race for pinks, son." That was the breaking point. I was so sick of him I just came out and told him, "No matter how hard you polish a pile of shit, it's still a pile of shit. Your car is that pile of shit, and I never want to hear about it again." He quit hanging around after that.

I have had the same type of shit. Had an SRT-4 cut across 3 lanes of traffic just to swerve in front of me and rev. Never got to a clean light so I could clean his clock and show him what 14psi will do on a BPU car.

Had a civic owner tell me my car doesnt count in the tuner world since its factory fast. WTF, so all the stock muscle cars dont count either because they came that way. Just couldnt stand it when I educated him that my VR-4 wasnt 200hp but 305hp stock and that on any course straight or curvy I would own him day and night.

Ahahahahahahaha Fast and Base in the same sentence... that kills me. No offense NA owners but your shit is slow. I test drove a 99 auto as a potential DD car. The whole time I was waiting for it to show me what it had, very sad, the 6 speed was a little better, but if it aint got boost.... it doesnt feel the same. But I daily drive my VR-4.

I think I just cryed a little

Ox, that picture...hahahahaha.

The vettes are nice. The mrs wont let me get one, she says the next major auto purchase will be a early model Viper for her (in my name of course). Her sisters husband has a bad ass c6 zo6 that he let me drive when I was in GA, dynoed around 500hp, very nice car, very fun. Difference between that and the VR-4 other than a couple hundred HP was the fact that 140mph felt like 140mph. VR-4 it isnt as noticeable to me.

96-02 GTS

One of my favorite cars of all time (and definitely one of the sexiest)